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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24352819">these bastard butterflies.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/share_the_world/pseuds/share_the_world'>share_the_world</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Merlin (TV) RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cuddling on a sofa, Forgiveness, Getting Back Together, Katie fangirling, Kissing, M/M, Memories, Mentions of Merthur, True Love, brolin - Freeform, lets keep this fandom alive pls!, like everyone ships merthur, people getting annoyed, people getting in the way, re-watching merlin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:22:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,346</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24352819</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/share_the_world/pseuds/share_the_world</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Colin bumps into Bradley, the person that after all these years he really should've forgotten about.<br/>And then Katie comes around, making them sit through a Merlin re-watch, which also happens to be one of the gayest shows ever made… Yeah, things get pretty strange…</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bradley James/Colin Morgan, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>92</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>these bastard butterflies.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>okay, I know I have no right to mess with either of these beautiful peoples lives, but I've always thought after everything they've been through together, and everything that's pushed one of the best friendships of all time apart, that like each of us, I think our boys deserve a happy ending… With just a little bit of love ;) ;)</p><p>i had to re do this because of amount of errors lol</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They were away from the best of the crowd now, but sitting awkwardly apart on the sofa, Colin felt slightly proud they had managed to escape the rest of the people in this shitty house party- that mixed with about forty other emotions...<br/>
He can't even remember why he agreed on coming, and right now, he was majorly regretting his life decisions. "It's been a long time!" Bradley said smiling warmly at him, it has been, and yet he still has that natural instinct to smile back.<br/>
"Yeah." Colin agreed.<br/>
I've missed you.<br/>
He felt relieved as Bradley moved closer to him, it was like this before, they could just say nothing at all or just talk shit the whole night and wake up in each others bedrooms and laugh about it in the mornings, everything was easy with Bradley, he wondered how easy it would be to get a replacement Colin, shouldn't be too hard, he seems to get along with everyone.<br/>
And yet, he was sitting here. With him. And they were together again… This time on a sofa in a house owned by someone neither of them care much about, Colin looked up into his eyes and remembered a time Bradley once called him 'special'.<br/>
And then the butterflies that should have died years ago, even after he's watched Bradley kiss so many girls, and even after he kissed that guy in Benjamin, the persistent butterflies live on when he looks at him like that.<br/>
That face means something Colin's never put together, but it replaces everything negative, or anything at all really, with nothing but a feeling of fuzziness.<br/>
He focused on Bradley's shiny blue eyes, and the lips that he once used for kissing Colin.<br/>
"What's been up with you then?" Bradley asked as he leaned lazily on his shoulder.<br/>
"I don't know, really." he said as his friend wrapped his arm across his shoulders, giving him a friendly squeeze, and keeping him from falling asleep right there.<br/>
"What do you mean, you don't know? it's been months, and you don't know what's happened?!"<br/>
Well, my life was a whole lot clearer before you left me to work in America.<br/>
"well lots of things have happened, but nothing I feel like talking about with you right now." he said without thinking it through, there were sparks of anger rising in his chest, anger at Bradley for leaving, and angry at himself for loving him.<br/>
Hopelessly loving him.<br/>
"Did you seriously think we were going to work out Colin, we're so different, and besides we only kissed about twice."<br/>
Colin moved away, he no longer wanted that man touching him. Fuck him. Fuck him for breaking his heart. Fuck him for what ever he's trying to say now!<br/>
"It was years ago, i've moved on." he lied through gritted teeth.<br/>
…And we've also kissed more than twice, Colin thought sadly, he had blood pounding in his ears. We had sex in your hotel room multiple times!<br/>
(so much for ‘over it…’)<br/>
~ 2012~<br/>
“Hey, Babe-”<br/>
“I saw you last night.”<br/>
Colin had come up with several ways to bring it up, but this was not the one he had originally opted for, but he couldn’t help it from slipping from his mouth.<br/>
He watches as Bradley's face hardens, and pulls his own eyes shut for a few seconds, not knowing what to do next.<br/>
“It didn’t mean anything.”<br/>
Colin opens his eyes, Bradley looks slightly guilty, but he’s not begging for forgiveness, is he even sorry?<br/>
“That kiss. It didn’t mean anything.” Bradley repeats, he reaches out for him, but Colin moves away before he can touch his shoulder, so his hand slips back down to his side.<br/>
“It was more than just a kiss,” Colin said quietly, his anger is rising, and he can do nothing to hold it back. “She had her acrylic nails all over your body and you let her!”<br/>
Was he really that boring? That Bradley had to find some pretty girl in a nightclub when he was gone.<br/>
“I was drunk!”<br/>
Colin looked at the floor, at both their shoes.<br/>
“You're planning on breaking up with me aren’t you?” he said to the floor, battling all the emotions coming flying at him.<br/>
“Colin, I do love you-”<br/>
“But there are hot girls out there that would sell their souls to fuck you.” Colin finished for him, he’d given up on the floor, the only thing he could possibly look at at this moment was Bradley. He wanted to make sure he felt something, he wanted him to remember.<br/>
“But there's the world, they’re going to ask so many questions, and we both have different paths that we want to-”<br/>
“You can’t just be afraid of the world! We don’t have to be public!”<br/>
Bradley looked at him, there was sadness in his eyes, it made Colin want to hug him, under the urge of wanting to throw a brick at him.<br/>
“We’re not going to work.”<br/>
Colin was angry. But he was more… sorry. He felt sorry for them. He felt sad for their future, and he hated them for being so different, but he hated himself the most, for not being perfect, and for not being the other half of Bradley’s coin. He felt like he had let the legends down, but they were never their characters.<br/>
Bradley took him into his arms again, for the last time, maybe… And let him cry into his faded red t-shirt.<br/>
~Present Day.~ ~oOo~<br/>
Bradley looked like he had been stabbed, which made Colin feel angrier. What?! Did he expect him to be crawling back for him after all he just said?!<br/>
"Why'd you look so upset ? You're the one who dumped me, and the one who just said I seriously can't still think of you like that!"<br/>
"I…" He mumbled, "I'm sorry." Colin looked away. Why was he still there?! Why was he still sitting on the damn couch?! He kept his mouth shut, looking down at his plain blue t-shirt.<br/>
"It's been shit." Bradley admitted finally. "watching you move along so quick when I came back to England, like Merlin was just one of your minor roles, and I try, talking to Rupert and the guys, the rest of the cast and the people from my football club, but none of them are the same, none of them could possibly match has unique and crazy you are… And how weird and perfect we were… But you ignored me."<br/>
Colin tried his hardest not to cry. He put himself in a scene where two 'friends' were having a normal conversation and tried his hardest to improvise. None of the shit he imagined worked.<br/>
"Because you left me! Because you broke my heart!"<br/>
… Because I love you, and because I didn't want you to see what a mess I am without you…<br/>
“I’m sorry, I was young, and stupid-” Bradley reached out and touched his hand gently. Colin flinched, more memories started flowing through his brain.<br/>
“You’re still stupid, you’re a dick, and-”</p><p>“Oh my god! Fancy seeing you here!”<br/>
Colin shut himself up immediately, he recognised that voice. It was no surprise he was an actor now, because of how pro he was at pretending to be happy.<br/>
“Katie!” Bradley stood up and hugged her, his hand felt cold and lonely without his touch.<br/>
And after all these years, she still looks as beautiful as she did when she played Morgana. Colin stood up to hug her too, and then they all collapsed back down on the sofa together, Bradley was in the middle, and Colin caught him looking slightly agitated which made him smile a bit.<br/>
He should’ve gone home a couple of hours ago, but Katie was here now, and he bet they weren’t the only ones still hanging around.<br/>
“Is Angel here too?” Katie joked, “it’s like a Merlin reunion!”<br/>
Bradley laughed, “not yet sadly.”<br/>
Katie must’ve noticed the TV in the corner of the room, because she smiled and pointed at it.<br/>
“Hey, do you guys know where the remote is? We could watch a movie or something!"<br/>
It sounded like a lame idea, but he had nothing better to do. The TV remote was on the coffee table so he picked it up and threw it at Katie, before nuzzling into Bradley’s shoulder just to piss him off.<br/>
He watches Katie thumble with the buttons.<br/>
"I saw that movie you were in, Colin… what was it, Benjamin?" She said without looking up from the screen.<br/>
"Yeah." Colin hummed, "I wanted to try something new."<br/>
"Well I thought you were an adorable gay mess, I too have kissed some pretty hot girls during my career," she smiled up at him before turning to Bradley as if to scold him. "Bradley, I'm disapointed, you're the only one among us who hasn't tried out the gay side!"<br/>
Bradley shrugged. Colin hoped he wouldn't say anything insulting.<br/>
"I'll consider it."<br/>
Katie flicked through the possible programs until a smile rose across her face.<br/>
"Guys! what do you think about having a Merlin re-watch?!"<br/>
~oOo~</p><p>"I can take you apart in one blow!" The younger Bradley said to the younger Colin on the TV.<br/>
"I can take you apart in less than that!" The younger Colin replied, making Colin sigh at how gay their charecters were. He remembered first getting the script and looking over at the blonde, hot stranger beside him and thinking: 'Oh shit.'<br/>
A couple of episodes later and Merlin and Arthur were risking their lives for each other, another few and the air around him grew quiet. At first he thought he was the only one awake, but then he felt Bradley's fingers wrap around his, and he knew he wasn't. The bastard butterflies were back, making a mess in his stomach. He shouldn't let him do this, but it just felt too right.<br/>
"Hey, Katie's asleep." He felt his breath tickle on his neck.<br/>
"Shame," Colin replied sarcastically, "we could've had an epic three some."<br/>
Bradley laughed at this.<br/>
"It's like you haven't changed at all."<br/>
Oh I have, Colin thought to himself, you've changed me in ways you can't believe.</p><p>Then slowly, he felt warm fingertips brush over his cheek. He resisted the urge to moan and instead looked down at the carpet in the dark and blushed. He shouldn't let this happen, not now, not ever. But he wanted it. He needed it.<br/>
"Hey babe, look at me."<br/>
That did it. When he said babe again. After everything that's happened. Something inside him snapped. Gravity no longer pulled him to the center of the earth. It pulled him straight to Bradley. He grabbed his face, and with any courage he had left after what time had done to both of them, he closed the little gap there was between them.<br/>
He felt Bradley open his mouth immediately, letting Colin attack his mouth hungrily. Making up for the length of time they had waisted, Bradley pushed back fiercely, he was good at this. Colin couldn't help but sigh into his mouth.<br/>
"You're beautiful, Colin, everything about you, I just-"<br/>
"Shh…" Colin whispered into a kiss. Np talking. Not now, not when there was so much else to do.</p><p>~oOo~<br/>
Colin blamed Bradley of course. For pushing him against the sofa and forgetting Katie was there. She woke up when his back slammed into her, looking startled and confused. They let go of each other as quick as they could, hoping it wasn't obvious what they were in the middle of doing.<br/>
And then Katie laughed. She grinned like a drunk fangirl and stood on the sofa pointing at both of them.<br/>
"Fuck!" she yelled. "I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!"<br/>
Colin felt fire burning in his cheeks. They had been caught. By the one and only Katie McGraph.<br/>
"Could you please stop yelling?!" Bradley whispered sharply, reminding them all that they were still in a random person's living room.<br/>
It took her a moment to calm down, and when she did she sat cross legged on the couch, staring at them both, which made Colin feel slightly uncomfortable.<br/>
"I get to be your bridesmaid, right?!" She asked, looking much like an excited little girl.<br/>
"We're not-" Colin started, but Bradley cut him off before he could finnish.<br/>
"Sure, but someone else is holding the rings, you can't be trusted to hold shit."<br/>
"Wait?! you're engaged and you didn't tell me?!" she gasped.<br/>
Bradley rolled his eyes, in a sexy way that made Colin want to grab him and pull them together.<br/>
"We're not getting married." Colin supplied.<br/>
"Yet." Bradley added smugly.<br/>
"I'll help you plan your proposal." Katie winked at Bradley. Colin buried his face in his palms.<br/>
"Ohhh." Katie smirked, looking directly at him, "you want me to leave, so you can go back to that…"<br/>
"Thanks, Katie." He sighed, "I just love when you say things like that."<br/>
"You know, it's a shame you can't have kids, because I think your children would be fucking adorable… Then again you could adopt-"<br/>
"Katie." Bradley said sternly, giving her a look that had 'shut up.' written all over it.<br/>
"Okay," she winked, "I'll leave you love birds to ruffle each other's feathers."<br/>
she flicked her hair over her shoulders and left them to stare at the door she had just walked out from.<br/>
"So we're going to get married then…" Colin said, shattering the silence that hung between them.<br/>
Arthur smiled lovingly.<br/>
"Sure… Just after we finished what we started, beloved."<br/>
Colin let the warmth of his words shine into him.<br/>
"I love you." he whispered.<br/>
"I love you too," Bradley responded, pulling him to his chest and whispering into his hair, "more than you can ever know."<br/>
The TV kept blurring on behind them as Bradley kissed his forehead, he could here Anhora's gentle voice in the background: "Arthur was willing to sacrifice his life for yours, he has proven what is truly in his heart…" </p><p> </p><p>the end!!</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>please, please comment, or give writing tips, that would be appreciated.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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